pond in woods

I read something the other day about how writing down your goals helps you realize what you want and subsequently who you are. Seems a bit lofty to me but, as someone who is indecisive to a fault, I felt like this would be a good exercise to “get in touch with my inner self” or something…

So. Thanks to lifehacker for the motivation.

My Manifesto

I am caring. I am mischievous. I am silly.

I will read. I will write. I will learn.

I will remember to relax.

In five years I see a hazy, unclear, imprecise future.

I want to live in a city – Which one? Who knows. – with friends and activities to keep me entertained and occupied.

I would like a baby. Or two. I would like a partner and a family and love all around. I will be a pretty wife. And I will cook. Hold your judgment feminists. These are my goals. No one is pressuring me into any kind of lifestyle. I’m creating it for myself.

My job may or may not exist. That’s right. Maybe it is unchanged and I’m doing then what I’m doing now. Or, maybe I will care for my kids and be supportive of my husband and gab on the phone with my sister because I can. Because it’s my choice. And in the words of Charlotte from Sex and The City, “I choose my choice”.

Maybe I desperately crave adult interaction because I deal with screaming, hyper, disastrously messy children for 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year and I hate it but I love it and I wouldn’t trade it for anything but the freedoms of youth are gone and the duties of adulthood have taken over and I’m tired in a way I never felt at 25 but less tired than I’ll feel at 40, so it’s okay. It’s what I wanted, after all.

If I get even half of what I want, I’ll consider myself lucky. Or, at least, accomplished. Satisfied.

If 1,825 days from now I actually have what I want today, it will be because I made it happen for myself. Or didn’t. Ah well. I’ll throw up my hands because you can’t have it all, but likely I won’t even notice that my dreams have gone unrealized because life will be too busy and all-consuming to notice these specifics. These tiny flaws.

This is my manifesto. I don’t believe in much but I believe I can imagine my future however I want.

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