I’m giving myself a new age limit when it comes to men.
As a 26-year-old female who hopes to get married and have babies one day (and, might I add, in that order) I’m tired of dating guys my age who have no interest in settling down and being a husband and/or father anytime soon.
Older guys are not only more emotionally mature (well, sometimes) – they’re also surrounded by a more grown-up social circle. This is key for me. If a 30+ year old guy spends most of his time with other 30+ year old people, then a much higher percentage of his crew is in the process of settling down.
Ask any 30-35 year old male how many single friends he has and he’ll likely be able to count the number on one hand. Most of their friends are buying homes, getting married, and pooping out kids.
So what does this mean for me? It means I don’t have to nag.
I don’t have to be the one pressuring the guy. His social circle will subtly impart that pressure for me…
There are plenty of men who enjoy being bachelors. They get to fuck whomever they want, whenever they want, but, to be honest, most of the guys I’ve talked to about this lifestyle admit that it gets old fast. First time sex can be awkward, messy, or just plain awful. Hookups are less consistent and take a significant amount of work. Imagine going out every Friday and Saturday, hitting on a handful of girls, buying them drinks, making small talk, and eventually convincing a non-ugly one to come back and have sex with you.
Now imagine you’re in a committed relationship. You just turn to your girlfriend while watching a movie on the couch and start taking off her clothes…Bam. P in the V.
Sure, the chase is fun for a bit, but eventually it’s just so much damn work. Settle down with a girl you like and you can do it whenever the mood strikes. Literally zero effort required.
Anyway, I digress.
My point is that I’m done dating guys in their twenties because I’m not sure what they bring to the table that an older guy can’t.
I know this all makes perfect sense from an evolutionary standpoint – women are looking for the testosterone-y “providers” and whatnot – but until recently, I never really gave the theory much thought. Now I am laser-focused on the importance of this age difference.
I should probably note that there is a ceiling here too. The May/December relationship doesn’t hold much appeal for me. I don’t want a partner who’s so old he can’t chase the kids around the playground. I’m thinking as a general rule a 10-year gap is pretty much the max… for me. Again, this is entirely personal preference. If you’re into saggy grandpa balls – well then, go for it girl.
So, gentlemen, if you’re 25 and gorgeous and smart and funny, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to swipe left. You’ll be great for some lucky lass out there. You’re just not my cup of tea. Anymore.