datingmovein

Get ready for some Carrie Bradshaw-esque musings today….

When you’re in a relationship and everything has been going hunky dory for a while, what’s the next step? Not that you NEED any next steps… Not that constant goodness isn’t enough. But it seems like as a 20-something in a healthy, happy, situation, moving forward is your best bet.

I’m always reminded of the hilarity of Ross and Mona on the TV show Friends when I think about “moving forward” with a guy. Mona asks Ross if their relationship is going anywhere and Ross immediately gets tongue tied and awkward and insists that it is, but can’t seem to find a way to prove that to her. His sister suggests he make a big gesture – like offering Mona a key to his apartment – to show that he cares, but Ross thinks that’s a monumental step and he’s just not ready to commit to his girlfriend in that capacity. He settles on making her a mix tape to show their relationship is moving in the right direction (bad move, Ross).

I’m not in a rush to do anything major (I haven’t even hit 25 yet, after all), but it seems like there’s nothing wrong with a little forward momentum.

But, what comes next? Trading mixed tapes (or maybe, these days, trading spotify passwords?), exchanging apartment keys, or moving in together to see if it feels right? And what happens if it doesn’t?

If you rush “moving forward” with a significant other, will you destroy what could’ve been a great thing if you’d only waited just a little longer? Or, if it’s truly meant to be, will it work out at any point in the relationship?

When I asked my recently married friend if she ever gets bored spending all her time with one guy, she just kind of laughed, told me “not yet”, and then explained that committing to one person for a lifetime feels like you’re just settling in for the long haul with your best friend. She made it sound very uncomplicated.

For anyone who has recently made a big step forward with their boyfriend/girlfriend/friend-with-benefits/hook-up buddy, how did you know it was right?

3 thoughts on “Making Moves

    1. I think a lot of people would agree with that. They’d say “it just feels right” – but I know plenty of people who said “they just knew” and then moved forward and everything fell to pieces.

      It’s hard to know what “knowing” is.

  1. I don’t know if you “just know” so much as at some point you “just try.” Because you’re right, you can “just know” and things can still fall apart. There just aren’t any guarantees to be had.

    As for what happens if you move in together and it doesn’t work, well, worst case scenario your heart breaks and you deal with the annoyance of apartment hunting and things are horrible for a while, but I can attest to the fact that the world doesn’t end, and you’ll be just fine. One thing I would recommend though would be keeping a little pocket of money tucked away just in case things go awry, so you aren’t suddenly dependant on the person you’re dating/living with.

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