saying no to guys

The phenomenon of “when it rains, it pours” must be scientifically proven by now, right? If not, the anecdotal evidence certainly seems to support the theory.

Some days, I truly feel like a sad Cathy comic lady incarnate. Like, there are ZERO viable options.

My phone is silent to the point where I have to jot off a pathetic “test” text to my sister to confirm the device is still capable of sending and receiving messages.

The UberEats delivery guy starts to give me weird, sympathetic looks because I’m regularly ordering the same $30 meal with utensils for one.

I’ll get a handful of wedding invitations with a cheery “Kat +1”– but there’s no plus one in sight.

And then… it’s like the fucking floodgates open and I’m not equipped to handle the sheer amount of male attention that comes my way.

I appreciate it, certainly.

It’s always a nice boost to the fragile 29-year-old ego.

But, as I wade through the options and bat away the bros and the douchebags, I’m unsure how to kindly reject men.

Like, is there a good way to soften the blow for those I’m just meh about? It’s not like I hate them. There’s nothing wrong with them per se. These guys aren’t rude or mean or ugly.

They’re just… not The One.

But, once they’ve bought me a couple drinks and kissed me goodnight, I feel bad cutting all ties. It seems like such a jerk move to stop responding to texts altogether. I wish I could just put them all on pause or mute or blur them away so I just didn’t have to deal with them.

I don’t want to be the asshole who ghosts.

And I don’t want to unfairly lead them on but… what’s the best way to let them down gently? Do you tell them you’re moving out of town? Imply that things are getting really busy with work? Or, should you just be brutally honest and say, “Hey, you’re cool, thanks for spending money and time on me, but I just don’t see this going anywhere…”

Maybe it’s that simple.

But then I wonder, what if I’m making a mistake and I turn down some really great human because I’m just personally in a weird place and not fully ready for them right now. Is it still the right move to rebuff them?

I once read that when it comes to finding a relationship, you need chemistry plus timing. But chemistry is hard to find and timing’s a bitch…. soooo where does that leave us?

I guess if there are any doubts in your mind about someone (or a whole group of someones), it’s best to tune in and listen. If you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it. It is definitely worth waiting around until the right person makes their grand entrance into your life.

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