If I actually wrote an accurate depiction of my life, you would be bored. And you wouldn’t read this blog.

But, just to hammer home how totally uneventful my life is 99.9% of the time, let me walk you through my super awesome Sunday.

The other day I spent more than five hours watching three Anna Faris movies back to back. Do you know who that is? Did you even know she was in 41 movies? I did not. Until I IMDB’ed her and discovered she was not just in the whole scary movie series but also “what’s your number”, “house bunny”, and “just friends”, all of which I enjoyed tremendously, thank you very much.

What else did I do? I went grocery shopping. At the little market down the street. I bought butter and an onion and some sparkling water. Oh and avocados were on sale so I grabbed a few of those too. How freaking expensive are avocados these days? It’s an outrage. Really. Are you totally loving this scintillating chit chat about my food choices of late?

This is my actual life. I read books on my kindle, and shamefully peruse US Weekly (Stars! They’re just like us!), and illegally stream movies from projectfreetv (um yeah, it’s awesome – maybe I’m late to the game with this one but after megavideo vanished, I was really lost for a while). Anyways, I run and play guitar and it’s all very nice and typical but then I get antsy and need…something!

I can’t pick up and take spontaneous vacations. I can’t go on adventures in the middle of the day with friends. I can’t day drink on a rooftop with a pool.

Tonight I ran home from dinner in a torrential downpour, barefoot. My first thought was shit, did I get my tetanus booster? But once the initial panic of bloodborne pathogens gave way, I felt exhilarated and invincible and in love with my city. This is my life. Sometimes it’s painfully boring. Sometimes hopelessly pathetic. Sometimes completely enviable.

Today was an excellent Tuesday.

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