Personally, I don’t enjoy being single. I think it’s difficult to be alone. In my experience, life is way more fun when you share it with someone who gets you, but I also recognize that that’s not always the easiest thing to find. Lord knows I’ve spent plenty of time looking.
But for some of my intelligent, interesting, attractive, financially responsible friends, it seems like they’re under the impression that they should hold out until they find someone perfect. They think they’re pretty fabulous in their own right, so they’re looking for someone worthy. Someone who exceeds expectations. Someone who checks every box.
It’s great that they hold themselves to a high standard, and it’s just plain savvy to decide not to settle, but sometimes I think we close ourselves off to the potential for something wonderful and turn up our noses at the mere whiff of a pre-determined “dealbreaker”.
If I had abided by a strict geographical dealbreaker I once had, I’d never be with the person I am today. I once joked with a friend that I’d “never do bridges”, meaning I’d never date or hook up with a guy who lived across the Potomac River or in a DC suburb; but sure enough, when I scrapped this ridiculous notion, I discovered there are actually some real winners in Arlington.
In this same vein, a guy friend of mine swears off any girl with a small dog. He believes anyone with a toy pooch is inherently nuts and he doesn’t want to put his D in crazy. For him, a small dog in a dating profile pic is as unappealing as a girl holding up a sign listing her current STD symptoms.
In some ways, I think it’s smart and necessary to have these dating rules in place. It gives you a smaller, more manageable chunk of the population to select from when searching for a mate (or a date), but it also means you’re cutting out potential greats before your paths can ever cross.
We shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss.
Maybe it’ll backfire completely (and then you’ve got a great story to tell!) but maybe it’ll lead to the love you’ve been hoping for. So ask that girl with the shivering Chihuahua out for drinks, or message back the gentleman on OKcupid who lives in the next town over. You never know where it will take you.