It’s not like it happens every time, but maybe sixty percent of the time, when I’m making brownies, I experience something upsetting.
Let me start by saying, I follow the recipe to a tee. I whisk the batter according to the directions, I put the ooey gooey mix into the oven only after it’s been pre-heated to the exact temperature on the box, and I set the timer so I don’t let them get a second overcooked.
And at first it always seems like everything is going to be okay. While the dessert is baking, my apartment fills up with the most heavenly aroma of cocoa and butter and eggy chocolatey goodness and I can hardly wait to take my first bite…
I let them cool for 10-20 minutes, waiting patiently for that perfect first taste and then…
There’s something hard and stringy in my brownie.
It makes me want to cry.
I don’t know if it’s the egg yolk cooking through because I didn’t properly combine it with the powdered ingredients, or if it’s the PAM spray solidifying when exposed to heat, or if the sugar starts to harden and crystalize before the rest of the mix, but for WHATEVER reason, something is NOT right.
It’s not in every bite either. It’s like the brownie god is fucking with my head. Those weird chewy bits are probably only taking up 1/16th of the pan but it feels like they’re unavoidable. I start to second-guess every bite. Is it there, is it not? I spit out dark soggy brownie mess into my napkin and inspect it, hoping for answers. But nothing.
It totally turns me off brownies and now I have a whole pan just sitting on my counter taunting me.
I googled “weird stringy things in brownies” and nothing of use came up.
Google did try to direct me towards some seriously unfortunate medical issues when I typed “weird stringy things” into the search bar, but luckily I managed to avoid that disaster of a search history.
The good news? I’m thoroughly disgusted to the point of feeling a little sick and gaggy so I probably won’t eat anything for the rest of the day… best diet technique ever? Or maybe it’s just time to make cookies instead.