A friend stopped by my apartment a few nights ago and told me one of the scariest stories I have ever heard. This is one of those tales that is so frightening I literally haven’t slept for 3 days because I can’t stop thinking about it.

Apparently, my friend’s friend (let’s call her S) attended Uchicago for 4 years and graduated several weeks ago, like me. S is interested in becoming a chef, but no restaurant will hire her straight out of college without kitchen experience. S understands that in the food industry you start at the bottom and work your way up. So, she agreeably decided it would be wise to gain exposure to the industry and save up some money before eventually heading to cooking school.

So. What did S do? She filled out applications at several Chicago restaurants for the position of DISHWASHER only to be told that they were unable to find a spot for her. Even when S explained her situation and promised she would truly put her very best effort into the job, the restaurants rejected poor S.

My friends and I sat in my living room digesting this story and came up with several un-PC explanations.
“Clearly S was overqualified,” said Steph, “I mean, they probably saw her degree and knew she’d be smarter than her superiors. They were probably scared to hire her…” This seemed like a possibility but my friend quickly reminded us that S returned to the restaurants in person to explain why she wanted the dishwashing job and was still spurned even though she practically begged.
“Maybe it’s because S doesn’t speak Espanol,” I taunted.
“Maybe…but she took French in high school because she thought it was a more “food focused” culture. S shouldn’t be punished for speaking the WRONG romance language,” Kennan argued.

Summary of the situation: S is a Uchicago English grad who is unemployed and moving back to Ohio to live with her parents because local restaurants find S incapable of washing dishes following 4 years of the (arguably) best undergraduate education in the country.

Yep. This is officially depressing…

One thought on “You’re Telling Me I Can’t Wash Dishes?!

  1. Hey, it's tough out there for you recent grads, but pity the parents who paid all that money and now have to have their kids live at home with them. So much for the "empty nest". We are suffering too!! Now THAT is "officially depressing"

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