When I was little and dreamed about my future husband, he had hair.
But, like, of course he did. Every Disney prince, cartoon character, and male figure in my life until then had fully formed follicles, so why would I picture myself with anything else?
Now that I’m a super duper grown up lady (ha!) I’m much more amenable to all sorts of guys; Hair… no hair… chest hair… it’s all good!
For the most part, women are pretty open-minded about this stuff. I regularly see gorgeous women canoodling with guys with shaved heads. Unfortunately, most men suffering from male pattern baldness are insecure and actively seek out ways to delay or prevent hair loss. Despite the hotties out there rockin’ the shaved head look (you’re welcome.) there is still some stigma attached to being bald.
Larry David put it best when he said: “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”
Seriously, though – the baldies are the best!
To all the single ladies out there who’ve swiped left or outright rejected bald guys in the past, I’m telling you, you’re missing out.
Here are some of the perks of dating a guy without hair:
1. He takes the SHORTEST SHOWERS EVER.
2. You can fill all the empty space in his bathroom with YOUR hair and beauty products and he doesn’t bat an eye.
3. He’s really easy to spot at a party. Or even wandering the crowded aisles of the grocery store.
4. You never have to deal with his greasy hair oils seeping into your pillowcases.
5. Your hair is a novelty to him so he runs his fingers through it often. Head-scratchies feel delicious. <purrrrrr>
6. He has to try just a little bit harder in other aspects of life to keep up with dudes who have hair. As a result, he’s far kinder, funnier, and fitter than average.
7. You wake up every morning feeling like Charlotte from Sex and The City. (YouTube says it won’t let me embed this, but WATCH THIS CLIP. I’m telling you. It’s magical.)