I'm not a soon-to-be bride, but it's pretty clear who their target demographic is
I’m not a soon-to-be bride, but it’s pretty clear who their target demographic is

Call me crazy, but I’m doing it again. The Cleanse.

It’s hard to explain the reasoning behind self induced semi-starvation but when you go without solid food for three days, you completely re-evaluate your relationship with chewing. And I think that can be a good thing.

It’s so easy to get caught up in a life of dinner dates and cocktail parties and beer gardens and fast food, that you stop listening to your body and just consume what’s right in front of you. Unless I cook something myself, in my own kitchen, it’s probably not healthy. And even if I DO cook it myself, there’s likely a stick and a half of butter in the dish (I’m kind of in the middle of a love affair with butter…). Seriously.

So this cleanse – which is technically my third – is just like a reboot. You have to shut down your computer from time to time, turn off your smart phone, so how is this any different?

I guess my real guilty admission which I’m 99% sure I share with anyone who’s ever tried a cleanse before, is how much I freaking love that flat stomach look at the end of the three days. Let’s be honest. You’re fasting. You give up food and normal eating habits for a three day mind/body experience that culminates with a Keira Kneightly-esque figure. (Or something like that…)

In theory, a cleanse is the dumbest concept in the world. Why give up food for 900 calories of vegetable juice per day when children are starving in Africa? But, here’s the thing: if you just stop eating for three days, people flip the fuck out. If you say you’re doing “a cleeeanse” (in a super zen, yoga voice) suddenly it’s totally acceptable and no one bats an eye.

So yes, for argument’s sake, you might say that the weight doesn’t stay off and it’s only temporary and it’s not fat it’s muscle blah blah blah, but each time I’ve tried this cleansing business, I’ve been happy with the outcome. I also tend to eat considerably better in the days, weeks, and months that follow. After you’ve suffered through three days of semi-starvation, you don’t want to undo that with a gigantic burger or waffle taco. It’s just not worth it.

So for anyone considering the Blue Print Cleanse, I guess here’s my final take on the matter. It’s only 3 days. Don’t take it (or yourself) too seriously. You can’t expect miracles, but recognize that you can overhaul your eating habits.

Finally – admit to yourself that you’re probably doing it a little bit for the wrong reasons. That’s ok. I don’t enjoy not eating, but it’s hard to argue with the end result.

(This is my opinion and mine alone. I am not a doctor, dietitian, or medical professional. Also, I take creative liberties with my blog posts.)

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