After a whirlwind work week (oh shit, it’s only Wednesday?), my brain has reached epic levels of fogginess. I honestly don’t even have the attention span to read a thought catalog article in its entirety anymore. I can’t even begin to approach the nytimes and honestly, even gchatting feels like a chore.

You know you’re tired when, while perusing facebook, you forget what site you’re on and absentmindedly open a new tab on your browser: oh, hey facebook.

You know you’ve reached new levels of exhaustion when, as a non-coffee-drinker, you chug a latte for breakfast and experience not alertness but a fleeting non-asleepness. Your eyes droop heavily against the sugary caffeine buzz and all conversations (even those directly involving you) become irritating background noise. You discover you can’t focus on any one sentence but rather hear every sentence overlaid with every other sentence until they form a pleasing hum of garbled speech that sounds almost exactly like one of those sleep-inducing sound machines set to “level 1 – rainforest”.

You know you’ve hit the point of seemingly no return when you fall asleep sitting up in bed holding a tub of Ben and Jerry’s chocolate brownie fro yo at 7 pm and sleep undisturbed until 8 am when your alarm blares loudly and insistently for 15+ minutes. The tub of ice cream is now a tub of warmish brown syrup but your bed is miraculously stain-free thanks to a slumber that more closely resembled a coma.

I suppose this is typical of a Big Girl job. Business naturally ebbs and flows and every day can’t be a perfect nine-to-fiver. My goals for the next month are to not get sick, not gain weight, and pay my bills. Doable? I hope so… ZZZzzzzzzzz

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