I think this is my dream colander. So pretty!
I think this is my dream colander. So pretty!

I went on vacation and when I returned, something very dear to me was missing.

I didn’t know it was gone until, hungry and jet lagged I wandered into my kitchen, yearning for comfort food. My only thought was: Must consume carbs. Pasta, preferably. Noodles are my go-to food when I’m cranky, tired, sluggish, grumpy, or just plain starving.

I boiled the water, added the noodles (fusilli, my favorite! Gotta love those little squiggles!), and heated up my favorite tomato sauce on a back burner. But, tragedy struck when the noodles hit the perfect doneness – somewhere between al dente and actually cooked. My colander was no where to be found.


I’m going to blame my near tears on sleep deprivation but seriously, this missing colander literally sent me into hysterics.

I turned my kitchen upside down searching for it. Every cabinet was opened and the contents inside destroyed. I stood on chairs, I looked in the oven (hey, ya never know…) I searched my room, my closet, my roommates bathroom (again, ya never know…?) but all to no avail.

Eventually, with my noodles way past the recommended cooking time, I fashioned a draining contraption that worked almost as well. I donned an oven mitt, grabbed a pot lid, and attempted to drain the boiling water out the top without losing any noodles in the process. A few fusilli escaped, tumbling down into the murky depths of my garbage disposal, but the majority of the pasta remained in the pot. No harm, no foul.

I’m not sure if this entire experience was a sign that I have a really great, incredible life where the worst thing that’s happened all week is my colander vanishing, or if this is a sign that I’m literally losing it.

But seriously. Where. The fuck. Is my colander??

2 thoughts on “Grown-Up First World Problems”

  1. I can totally identify with this! I almost went completely nuts this week when I couldn’t locate my cheese grater. It turned out it was inside a little-used mixing bowl on the very top shelf in my kitchen. I don’t know what I’d do without my colander!

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