PandaI have a guy friend who likes girls who look like ducks.

I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.

And it’s not like they’re ugly ducks (ugly ducklings?), it’s more like each girl subtly resembles a duck in some way. Maybe one has pouty lips, another has feathery looking hair, and the third has some combo of the two… But mostly it’s that there is just something duckish about them. Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe they don’t even look like ducks at all, they just give off a duck vibe. Like it’s their spirit animal or something.

Or their Patronus!

I’ve been told I look a little chipmunk-y, but it’s never really offended me. I mean, chipmunks are totally tiny and speckled and adorable.

What’s so funny about it is that – of the guys I’ve dated – they all seem to like girls who resemble chipmunks.

After a breakup, I always think it’s fascinating to see who my exes date next. More often than not, the girl looks at least somewhat like me.

At one point, that observation might have flattered me. I would have been like, ‘ohhh I was so amazing, he’s just trying to find someone who comes CLOSE‘. But, truth be told, when I look way back (okay, Facebook stalk) to the days before we were ever a couple, my exes’ old girlfriends all kind of resembled me too. We are all chipmunk girls.

Chipmunkers unite.

One thing I should probably mention is the fact that the type of animal you resemble has nothing to do with your level of hotness. In fact, the prettiest girl at my high school had a camel as her spirit animal. I know that sounds hideous, but it didn’t detract from her beauty. She was gorgeous and at the end of the day, there was something just unmistakably camel-like about her.

It’s common for people to have a certain type that they date over and over and over again. Some gentlemen prefer blondes, others tend to hook up with short girls, and plenty go for tall and thin, but I think, if you really analyze your dating patterns, you might notice another commonality.

Consider their animal auras.

Do you date ducks? Chipmunks? Pandas?* What’s your type?

*(I feel like this is a Buzzfeed quiz waiting to happen…)

Leave a Reply