Mr. RightI can’t figure out if I’m becoming more or less picky about men as I grow up.

You know how when you’re younger you’ll pretty much date anything with a sense of humor and the desired genitalia? Well, as we get older, it seems like we all have infinitely higher expectations from our partners.

Now that you’re not 18 anymore, the next person you kiss could potentially be the last person you kiss.

I guess I can’t decide whether these high expectations are too limiting (like, if you want to wife me up you better be able to give a kick ass foot massage or you’re OUT) or if they are entirely fair and completely necessary.

Am I settling if I stay with someone who never says I love you? What about a guy who is perfect on paper but wears some crusty hemp ankle bracelet from his family’s trip to Hawaii five years ago? If they’re a slob or hopeless in the kitchen, would that warrant dismissal from your life?

Every day my birth control pills remind me that I’m swallowing away my most fertile years. I’m waiting waiting waiting for the best genetic match to give me the healthiest, most enduring offspring. It’s a little weird to think about it from such a clinical perspective but the longer you wait around for that perfect guy, the lower your odds are of reproducing at all.

Of course, we all need to have standards – you shouldn’t settle for someone just because they happen to be there, in your life, right place right time – but when you find something good, should you lock it down?

Or, should you wait around for something better that might, or might not, come along?

3 thoughts on “Set Your Standards (not too high)”

  1. Do not settle. If it is important for you to have a man who can give awesome foot massages then wait for that. I wanted to be courted, to have a husband who opened the car door for me all the time. I waited, and my husband does open the doors. I had to realize where I was being superficial. I dated tall men, 6’10” to exact….well my husband isn’t 6’10” but it was a deal breaker for all the short men that approached me before my husband. The only reason I let go of some of my standards and was willing to compromise is because what I was getting from my now husband was far more important than height. Don’t settle though, if you feel like it is something you can wake up next to every day then go for it. If a man’s messiness or ankle bracelet is something that you are going to be annoyed with everyday for the rest of your life…then let him and his mess walk on…that is not worth it.

    1. Thanks for the comment! I definitely agree with you. I’ll hold out for the guy who gives the world’s best foot massages… and learn to compromise on the other, less important, things.

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