If I learned anything at the Millennial Ideas Forum the weekend of the Inauguration, it was that people in DC are very, very smart and very, very ugly.

And that’s okay. We don’t have to be a sexy city. Try as we might, at the end of the day we’re just a bunch of policy dorks who never learned how to properly exfoliate skin or tweeze eyebrows.

And in some ways, that’s nice for me because it just means a smoother transition from my equally nerdy, aesthetically unappealing alma mater.

It’s almost reassuring that so little effort goes into Washingtonians’ looks. It suggests that their time is spent focusing on important things. Things like gun control and protecting the environment and budget reform and yada yada yada. Good for them.

I get the same yucky feeling looking at a pretty politician as I do when I’m confronted with a good-looking doctor. If you’re a super hot MD, I’m just not sure I trust you to do a good job distinguishing between normal and abnormal cells. You should be pale and haggard and exhausted from years spent in schools, hospitals, and labs. If you look tan and well-rested year-round, you’re probably not putting in the time and effort medicine requires.

It’s the same for DC folks. If you’re too attractive, I don’t believe you’re 100% dedicated to your job. I want only the fugliest elected officials representing me and my country.

Aaron Schock: Too hot to be in charge


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