Unemployed Kat

A Washington DC matchmaker blogs about life & love

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Tag: humor

How The Hunt for a New Pair of Sunglasses is Exactly Like Searching for a Boyfriend

How The Hunt for a New Pair of Sunglasses is Exactly Like Searching for a Boyfriend

Posted on March 21, 2018March 21, 2018 by Kat Haselkorn
A few weeks ago, I cracked my favorite pair of sunglasses by throwing them in my purse without a case and tossing my laptop on top of them. Crunch. I’d had these glasses for years and got more compl... Read More
Those People on My Flight Who Were More In Love Than I’ve Ever Been

Those People on My Flight Who Were More In Love Than I’ve Ever Been

Posted on November 28, 2017 by Kat Haselkorn
A few weeks ago, on a flight back from Europe, I witnessed the kind of selfless love I’d only ever read about in fairy tales. The plane was ancient; No outlets, TV’s, or modern amenities in sight.... Read More
Falling in Love at First Sip

Falling in Love at First Sip

Posted on January 24, 2017March 15, 2017 by Kat Haselkorn
I lay there. Miserable. Thirsty beyond belief. Pressing my tongue to the roof of my mouth searching for some excess, hidden moisture I had yet to discover. I licked my lips. I licked them again. Would... Read More
I Promise I'm Not a Peanut Butter Serial Killer

I Promise I’m Not a Peanut Butter Serial Killer

Posted on April 30, 2016 by Kat Haselkorn
I recently hit up my local CVS to satisfy some random junk food cravings. I set out with the goal to buy a bunch of childhood comfort foods that the grocery stores in my neighborhood (Trader Joe’s a... Read More
Your New Baby is Gross

Your New Baby is Gross

Posted on February 5, 2016 by Kat Haselkorn
Am I a monster? I’m pretty sure I must be because today I came to the conclusion that puppies are cuter than newborn babies. Like, wayyyy cuter. Because brand new humans are kind of disgusting. Don... Read More
The 3 Best (and Worst!) Things About Wedding Season

The 3 Best (and Worst!) Things About Wedding Season

Posted on August 14, 2015November 7, 2016 by Kat Haselkorn
The best thing about weddings is all the mushy gushy love stuff. No matter how alone and bitter we may be on occasion (who? me?) watching close friends get married is a joyful experience.... Read More
That Time I Went to Fat Camp

That Time I Went to Fat Camp

Posted on November 25, 2014November 24, 2014 by Kat Haselkorn
When I was little, I was sent off to fat camp. For those of you who are wondering if I was a chunky kid, the answer is no – not even a little bit. In my parents’ defense, it was something of an a... Read More
That Time I was Ugly in Vegas

That Time I was Ugly in Vegas

Posted on October 9, 2014 by Kat Haselkorn
  My mother is very wise – she’ll tell you herself that she’s “always right” – but she recently shared a nugget of wisdom with me that made her seem like a chauvinistic Confucius. ... Read More
Who Does “Vee” From OITNB Look Like…?

Who Does “Vee” From OITNB Look Like…?

Posted on June 25, 2014June 26, 2014 by Kat Haselkorn
…Oprah! The resemblance is uncanny, am I right??... Read More
Story of my Life in the Wintertime…

Story of my Life in the Wintertime…

Posted on January 8, 2014 by Kat Haselkorn
My life is so hard.... Read More
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